Animals walk into a bar

A bear walks into a bar
and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a pint of beer and a………. packet of peanuts.”
The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”

A grasshopper walks into a bar,
and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, “You have a drink named Steve?”

A kangaroo walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Blood is the lipstick of all wounds.”
The bartender does not know how he said this or why.

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Helium Jokes

On this page you will find jokes and humorous things about Helium

Jokes

I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can’t put it down.

When you start reading book about Helium, you can’t put it down

Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here. Helium doesn’t react.

Q: Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can’t heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um.

Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn’t put it down.

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe