Animals walk into a bar

A bear walks into a bar
and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a pint of beer and a………. packet of peanuts.”
The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”

A grasshopper walks into a bar,
and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, “You have a drink named Steve?”

A kangaroo walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Blood is the lipstick of all wounds.”
The bartender does not know how he said this or why.


Helium Jokes

On this page you will find jokes and humorous things about Helium


I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can’t put it down.

When you start reading book about Helium, you can’t put it down

Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here. Helium doesn’t react.

Q: Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can’t heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um.

Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn’t put it down.

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe